Fat Girl Slim
by Major-alexis
Summary: After her break up with Kevin Garcia decides to take control of her life in a positive way, gaining her the attention of more the one new suitor.
1. Chapter 1

**Authors note: Hi all! This is my first journey into CM fan fic (and my first time writing anything in many years!) two years ago, I was told I had to lose weight for medical reasons and I joined weight watchers, so far I've lost almost 30kgs (I think that's like 66 pounds or something in American talk! Please forgive me, I'm a Kiwi girl) something that had bugged me about a lot of CM fic is how people portray Garcia with really being happy with her weight. And I am sure that some people really are, however I must admit I am rather a lot like Garcia I march to the beat of my own drum and I don't really care about what people think about me. However I really was not that happy with my weight and how I looked and I think that it because of weight watchers I realised that. So My Penelope is going to be a little bit different from other people's Penelope's and if you do not like that I make no apologies, it's my time to play with the toys damn it!**

**THIS IS UPBETAED! All mistakes are mine (and if picked up on please tell me and I'll fix them)**

**This WILL evolve into a Garcia/Morgan fic, because well they're so damn cute! **

**Disclaimer: please don't sue me; I'm a post-graduate music student. I'm never going to earn enough money as a music teacher (figures cross I become an opera singer!)—ALSO while I work for Weightwatchers and know the plan I do not own it.—if you feel that why inspired PM me and I'll send you info about how to sign up to the program. **

Penelope Garcia was not a wimp.

When she was only twelve years old she had beat up Ian Henderson after he had picked on her for her size, he'd needed eighteen stiches. She'd been grounded for a month.

Three years later, when someone hummed the ride of the Valkyries under his breath while she walked into the classroom she was far more cleaver, the naked pictures that he thought where safe on his computer landed up plastered on every computer desk top in school. He was called wee weenie for his whole sophomore year and beyond. She HADN'T been caught.

But this moment in time Penelope Garcia, Goddess of all things Geek was scared. Out of her mind scared.

She'd never really had a problem with her weight at all, not since she grew boobs and noticed and increased amount of male attention, men seemed to like a larger chested girl without really minding what else is attached to it. Finding her own unique style had made things even better for her.

Yes she avoided looking the mirror before she had clothes on, and she NEVER looked at her side profile even with clothes on, but she tried to tell herself she liked her body. It was her mantra every day when she woke up. _I'm happy with myself, I love myself, I look good. _This ever day again and again.

And it worked, for a while at least, by the time she was in her mid-thirties she was happy, she had a good job with the FBI, a boyfriend who loved her, a best friend she couldn't live without and a family that filled the parts of her heart that her own family never could. She loved her life, fighting the bad guys with her heroes during the day and going home to Kevin and night.

However that changed dramatically and quickly. Firstly Kevin had to be stupid enough to ask her to marry him. She remember how the pit of her stomach dropped at she looked into his earnest eyes as he professed to wanting to spend the rest of her life with her. _Why_ she had thought, _I don't deserve the love of a man like Kevin, I don't deserve the love of anyone_. All of the thoughts, the taunts, the mean words, the shame she hid under layers of bravado and makeup.

It was then when she turned him down by telling him that there five year relationship was moving too fast, that she realised it. She wasn't happy. She didn't love herself. She needed to change.

And that's what brought her here. Being scared. Looking at the door of a community centre but to chicken to walk through it.

She knew the meeting was on today, she had Googled it at home before leaving (and the removing any trace of said Google, she was even too afraid to do it at work unless someone found out what she had been planning to do)

_For goodness sake Garcia_, she thought to herself angrily, It's not like you haven't gone to a support group before. _Yes, _said the other, meaner part of her mind, _but not like this type of group. This type of group for people like you._

For the fiftieth time that night (she was sure it wasn't that many time, if Reid had been with her he would be able to tell, but there was no way she was inviting him to THIS) Garcia read the sign that was outside the door.

_Weightwatchers Meeting; on here today._

She was going to do this.

"Hi," a small cheerful woman appeared next to her, "are you hear for the meeting?"

The tiny girl couldn't have been any older then her mid-twenties with mid length brown hair and amber eyes. Dressed in a short skirt, fish net tight, doc martins and a singlet she looked a little bit like a punk rock fairy.

Penelope smiled weakly at her, "I'm not really sure to tell you the truth"

The girl smiled up at her, "Yeah I was the same my first meeting, I could barely make it out of my car, let alone to the door! I was so scared that everybody would judge, but really we're a nice group of people."

"You've never been fat!" Penelope exclaimed look her up and down , the girl looked like she'd never been over weight in her life, in fact she really looked like a small gust of wind would knock her over, being short with dainty features.

"You'd been surprised," the Punk Fairy replied, "two years ago, I was 80 pounds larger then I am now. I'm Rose, the leader here."

"Leader?"

"I run the meeting, come on in, I'll help you get you signed up and stuff" Rose smiled at Penelope and held the door open for her.

This was it, now or never time.

Looking at the computer screen Penelope sighed. Three weeks ago she had started taking control of her life. Three weeks ago she had 'Started her weight loss journey' as Rose her Leader had said.

Leader, it made it sound like she was in a cult! It wasn't really, the women (and a scattering of men) who attended the meeting had been really lovely, they were at different stages of their own journey and where all really understanding. She had felt so accepted and it was partly that made her keep going back every week. Well that and the numbers on the scale falling gradually downwards in a pleasing manner that made her smile every Tuesday evening when she trudged out to her local community hall.

So far she had told no one about her new eating routing, still unsure how people would take her new body image. But just because she hadn't said anything didn't mean nobody had noticed, she did work with profilers after all, and they didn't seem to be able to turn it off, even when with their friends.

Morgan was first. Of course it would be her Hot Stuff! When she didn't order her regular soy chocolate covered frothy drink in the morning, he raised one eyebrow at her in silent query. Unsure how to answer his inquiry she just shrugged and carried her short back with skim milk (two points thank you very much) back to the office with him.

JJ was next, but that was maybe more to do with the fact they usually ate lunch together almost every day, and saw her food choices. On Pen's suggestion they had started to bring food more often than going out to eat. After Penelope's fourth chicken salad wrap JJ had asked her strait out if she was pregnant. After half choking on her lunch Pen violently shock her head and hightailed it out of there. Needless to say she ate in her office for them onwards.

Emily, Reid and Rossi all noticed at the same time when she turned down a cupcake that Sally from the tech pool offered her. Sally was practicing for her three year old birthday so her cupcakes where becoming increasingly shaped like farm animals and looked like they were filled with sugar. When she declined Reid asked her if she was sick, and then reminded her of all the times she had passed over one of her favourite treats and how it corresponded with when she was sick. She replied that she as busy and quacking rushed back to the safety of her lair.

If Hotch ever noticed, and she was sure he did, he never mentioned. He did however smile at her, one of his rare smiles that that only graced his face on very rare occasions. And he replaced all of the milk in the tea room with 2%.

It was going to be long journey.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you all so much for you reviews and alerts :-D It's made my day waking up to so many e-mails of goodness! **

**A lot of this is based on my personal experience, and I have to admit, that Reid is so much like my Aspergeric brother a little of him has bleed in a little. This is in the process of being Betaed but I thought I would post it now so you can read it before it comes back to me (I've finished about 4 chapters so far and waiting for them to be returned, I'll change this one when I come back too)**

**Disclaimer: If CBS had done this then I wouldn't have had too :-P don't sue me please**

"Alcoholics Anonymous has a saying," Reid said between mouthfuls of the tuna salad he was currently eating.

"Has a what?" asked Pen distracted, it was now week 6 of being on weightwatcher and she was already seeing a change in her body shame, some of her favourite clothing where starting to feel a little looser on her and she'd had to go out and buy new Bras just a week ago, that was novel!

"A saying," Reid took another bite, "they say, 'if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've always got', it's times like this that I think about that."

"Times like what?" Penelope was also very tired, after months of agonising her and Kevin and finally called it quits for good. They had spent the evening in amicable discussion about their relationship and plans they had for the future. Kevin was going to quit and buy that farm he had spent the last year talking about.

She was please for him she really was. That didn't mean she wasn't lonely though, she was going to miss him. She was going to miss not having regular sex, not that that had happened very often towards the end. Garcia was in the middle of trying to figure out if her virginity could grow back when the young doctor coughed loudly trying to regain her attention that had floated off some time ago.

"Err Garcia?" Reid looked concerned; he had noticed the technical analyst's new eating habits and had deduced she was participating in some sort of organised weight loss regime. And, in his honest opinion, looked like she was succeeding very well, not that he was allowed to tell her that, he was under strict instructions from both JJ, Prentiss and Morgan not to say anything to her that they had caught on. Why they thought they would think she wouldn't know he had no idea, Penelope Garcia was a remarkable intelligent woman and would have figured it out herself. Reid thought she would make a good profiler herself; however like the rest of the group would rather her keep her happy innocent disposition and not have to become hard to realities of life like the rest of the team had had to.

"Sorry boy wonder" Penelope smiled at the agent, "my mind was wondering a little bit, what where you saying"

"It was about AA, made me thing about something JJ said to me the other day, about the definition of insanity"

Pen laughed, "Had that anything to do with stapling excrement to a wall?" JJ had started reading self-help books about raising pre-schoolers, the latest one will filled with wonderful quotes and little else.

"No, that's the definition of impossible; the one I was talking about was doing the same thing again and again and expecting a different result."

"Ahh," Penelope replied, "that makes more sense than mine, plus makes more appropriate conversation to be having while eating lunch, nobody really liked talking about poop and eating at the same time, well apart from a certain sect of people who are really not normal, and that is even including that people that we catch on a daily basis."

Reid smiled at Pen's ramblings, quiet used to her tendency to go off onto tangents now and again.

"I'm sure there is a section of society who does enjoy that type of… activity, however we were not really talking about that where we?"

"What where we talking about then Junior G man?" Penelope enjoyed ribbing Reid

Reid gave her a peeved look, "We're proud of you Penelope."

Pen was shocked, it was the first time that any of the team, her little family, had mentioned anything about what she was doing and from the look on Spencer's face, it was clear that it was an admission by accident. She wondered to herself which one of the team had instructed to Spencer not to say anything, knowing her friends it was possibly all of them.

"Thanks Spencer," she smiled at the profiler.

It was nice even this quiet support.

* * *

Derek was hiding in his office again. It had started just after a certain Tech analyst had approached him asking him advice on how to propose to his best friend.

The idea of Kevin Lynch marrying his baby girl made his stomach roll and did some strange painful things to his heart. That was odd, that sudden sharp shooting pain that stabbed through his heart and remained there.

But them she had turned him down. She turned Kevin Lynch down and his heart soared. That confused him, he'd never felt like that before about anyone, and this was Penelope, he best friend, he solace, she shouldn't be feeling things like this for her. But every time he'd seen her sashaying through the office he felt his heart speed up a little.

And then he'd noticed the coffee. Every morning for the last five years Penelope and him had got coffee together if he was not out on a case, either before work of sometime throughout the day. Penelope had the same coffee order every day, he knew, he'd memorised it. Half caf, extra shot venti two pump non-fat hold the whip caramel macchiato. He'd ordered it for her enough time to know and he'd laugh about how she'd order something non-fat but have caramel in it.

The day she had ordered a short black with trim milk he knew. Something had changed, the look in her eyes was determined, and he could almost hear her calculating in her head.

He was shocked, he loved his baby girl no matter what she looked like but he had always thought that she was happy in her skin, okay with who she was. However apparently that was not the case. He had initially thought that is might be Kevin Lynch who had made her think the she needed to to change. He hoped not, he'd have to hurt the Technical Analysis if he had even made Penelope feel slightly insignificant.

The soft sent of her perfume alerted Morgan that the woman who was on his mind had walked past his office on the way into her lair. Standing he made his way silently next door to said lair. He'd not seen her all day and felt like he was having withdrawl.

Knocking quietly at her door he pushed in open and stepped in to see Penelope's fingers flying across the keyboard as data scrolled down one of the many monitors she had surrounding her desk.

"Hey baby girl," he said as he gently laid his hand on her shoulder making her jump ever so slightly.

"Careful hot stuff," Penelope exclaimed as she swivelled the chair around, "you almost gave me a heart attack"

Derek smiled into her face, "I really think it would take more than that to really scare you mama, maybe I should try huh?"

Penelope laughed up at him, "doll face you could always _try_."

"Oh I could think of ways, many ways" Derek waggled his eyebrows, "movie night?"

The invitation was slotted into the conversation seamlessly and Derek held his breath as he waited for her reply. Their movie nights had tapered off as of late, between Lynch and the pressures of the job the pair had found it more and more difficult to get together a frequently as they once had. He missed it, the long movie night at each other's houses; fall asleep on the couch only to wake up hours later entwined in one another arms.

Tonight he was going to talk to her and try to get some of the magic of the early friendship back again.

Penelope nodded thrilled to have plans for that night, she had also missed their time together, after every movie night or dinner date she felt refreshed. It was nice to spend time with someone who just liked to talk to you with no other reason that because they were your friend. She missed their conversations that lasted into the night watching movie after move until they feel asleep together. She had a collection of clothing at his house, and he did her apartment as well as a toothbrush and other such things. They quickly realised that it was more convenient seeing that they spent so much time together. Not that they had needed it lately, as sleepovers had become few and fine between and as time went on they saw less and less of one another outside of work.

Smiling she thought about what Rose had said in the weeks meeting about family support, her earlier conversation with Reid had made her think about it. Rose was talking about how having a support network was just as important for weight loss as it was for any other addiction therapy. That having her family care and be involved in her journey would help her greatly.

Tonight they were going to talk.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'm feeling ambivalent about this chapter, I'm not sure why but it just didn't want to write! I'm half way through singing comps atm so my brain is all in that right now so I apologise if most of this sounds like Gibberish. Hopefully the next chapter will be out faster.**

**On a side note my sisters kids are at my house at the moment watching The Flintstones movie, the weird Vegas one, and I have just looked up and noticed Hotch… My sister couldn't figure out why was yelling OMG he's smiling over and over again, and then exclaiming how young he looks!**

**Disclaimer (in haiku) **

**Criminal minds is not mine**

**Money I have not**

**To sue me would be pointless**

"Water world Dances with Wolfs?" Morgan called to the kitchen where his Baby Girl was making dinner; he had been ushered out into the lounge almost immediately after entering her small purple palace. The smells that where wafting out of the kitchen however where mouth-watering and he couldn't not wait to sample Penelope's culinary genius. He was starting to think that there was nothing that that woman couldn't do if she put her mind to it. If she wanted to become a ballerina he was sure she would probably find a way to make it work.

"Ah hot stuff," her voice came from the kitchen, "you now my weakness for Kevin Costner, you pick"

"You know I may choose swing vote," he called back grinning knowing that that it was her least favourite of his movies, "why you own it is anyone's guess"

"Because," Penelope informed him and she walked out of the kitchen drying her hand on a tea towel, "I must own all of Costner's brilliance, even his move mediocre of movies."

"Postman? Message in a bottle? Love of the Game? And you choice swing vote? You're mad baby girl you know that?" it was a familiar conversation between them, the pros and cons of Kevin Costner's movies. And to think before he'd met her all he'd watched was Field of Dreams.

"how about Field of dreams," Garcia suggested as an alterntive, "if we're going for a Costner theme, and then Robin Hood king of theaves if we're awake?"

"You've read my mind baby girl," Morgan smiled at her as he fished the aforementioned DVD's out of her cabinet.

"It's because I know you handsome," Garcia replied and walked back into the kitchen to put the finishing touches onto the dinner she had been preparing from her weightwatcher cookbook.

"Smells good," Derek's voice filtered into her kitchen from the lounge. Pen had been thinking about what to cook all day and she hoped the Lamb stew with herb dumplings would be something that Derek would enjoy, she had cooked it a few times before and still had portions left in her freezer, however she decided to cook from scratch this time, somehow reheated food never really tasted as good.

Penelope started to lay the table reaching to get the plates out of the cabinet above the dishwasher only for Derek to come behind her and take the plate out of her hand.

"Baby girl, you cooked dinner, there is no way in the world to you've going to be doing anymore hard work!" Morgan started to lay the table, "and that includes washing up, do go and park your bottom on a seat and I'll finish this off"

Pen smiled at her chocolate god and took her seat; it was nice to be waited on, even if she had done the cooking. Her relationship with Kevin while happy was never based on an extreme amount of chivalry, sure he cared about her but he was never really that demonstrative.

Placing the meal on the table Derek and Pen served themselves up their dinners.

After they had finished dinner they made their way into the lounge (not a long trip really though seeing that most of her living areas when in the same room.

"It's such a shame that Kevin Costner isn't single," Penelope mused out loud, "he can act, he can sing, what more could I need?"

"He can _act?_" Derek Joked back at her passing her the bowl of popcorn.

Picking up a few kernels of unsalted lightly buttered popcorn (3 point for half the bowl) Penelope aimed them at Derek's head.

"I am choosing to ignore that Mr Morgan in favour of watching this delightful movie."

Derek smirked at his Baby Girl while picking up popcorn from his chest and plopping it in his mouth, "hey that's Agent Morgan to you!"

"The day I start calling you _Agent_ Morgan is the time I insist on you only even calling me Technical Analysis Garcia."

"No can do baby, way too much of a mouth full"

"Am I too much to handle there handsome?" Pen grinned at her best friend enjoying the natural banter they had perfected over the years.

"Oh baby girl you know I could handle all night long, you wana try me out?" Derek replied waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh hot stuff just say the time, I'm there."

Derek gave Pen an appreciative look, he'd always thought that Penelope was a good looking woman, but recently she'd been looking more and more confident, it was a look that worked on her. He could feel himself becoming more and more aware of her as her confidence in herself grew. His baby girl had been his best friend for years and he knew that while she displayed a confident overly sexy demeanour, in reality she was rather shy and reserved. Whatever she was doing it was working for her.

"So," Derek ventured, "what is going on in your life."

Pen gave Derek a questioning look, "we see each other every day, how can anything be new?"

"It's just that you seem, different"

"Different?" Penelope was worried about what Derek meant by different, she was starting to really like her new self, she hoped that it came across in a positive light.

"It's just that there is something that…" Derek was lost for words, they all knew that Penelope was trying to lose weight, but he didn't know how to broach the subject he was so worried that she was doing this for all of the wrong reasons. "with the eating and the weight…"

"The what?"

"You know this whole new you thing, I was wondering"

"Wondering what?" Derek didn't know where to go with this, he knew he wanted to talk to her about it however the look that Penelope was giving him (that looked like it could burn a hole right through him) was giving him the indicator that things where not going well.

"You see Pen, I love you, you know that? I was just wondering what you are doing, more why you're doing it? You know you don't have to, you're a good looking woman, and I mean Lynch liked you and all"

"Are you telling me that you think that I shouldn't be losing weight?" Pen was confused she thought what she was doing was a good thing, why was he being so weird?

"It's not that baby girl, it's just," Derek sighed in frustration and rubbed his hand over his head, "It's just we're… _I'm…_proud of you."

Penelope gazed up into her best friend's eyes and smiled realising that Derek had been trying to gentle with the subject.

It was nice to have support.


End file.
